I think I’ve lost focus in my art. Not the actual focus, like focusing a camera but I lost focus on why I was photographing landscapes, why I loved landscape photography. I was so obsessed with trying to sell my work. Trying to get artwork hung in galleries, entering competitions only to be rejected time and time again until finally I’ve had enough. I don’t think my soul can take the rejection any more. You’ve won universe! I give up, you’re telling me that maybe I just suck, that my artwork just sucks. Or maybe I’m being overly dramatic, as my parents always said I was.
But how can you not take rejection personal? After all, art in and of itself is personal is it not. It something that’s created from your heart and soul. I think about what I want in a photograph and I create it.
I invested so much time and money into my artwork. This is all I ever known, all I’ve ever wanted to do. Since the age of 12 I’ve wanted to be a landscape photographer, since I saw an interview with Ansel Adams. But it seems, his style, my style, seems to be out of fashion at the moment. I feel out of sic with everything.
I’m not sure what to do right now. I’m not entering anything in competitions or shows. I’m done!! But I honestly don’t know what to do. Here I am, forty-eight years old and lost. What do I do next?